“Modern Love”, or “A Tinder Tale Gone Sour”

Description: The following is a poem inspired by the dating service Tinder. Each line of an unitalicized stanza was ripped from a random Poughkeepsie user’s bio. Stanzas are organized by theme. The piece explores how technology changes the way we relate to our peers.

 

 

Tinder: A swipe can change your life

 

I swiped left on you, or in the affirmative.

Bored and wasted, I swiped left on about twenty other men too.

You weren’t that special,

God dammit.

 

———————————————————————————–

 

I love adventures

Love the outdoors

Anything outdoors

 

Neither of us is athletic.

You were, once. I saved that old picture of you

Dressed for soccer, fat and grinning.

You could never picture me playing Varsity tennis.

I could never confess I was an alternate.

 

Let’s have some fun

Let’s get drunk

Always down for a wild night

Gotta party every weekend or it’s not a weekend

 

I grabbed your shoulder. My last words before fainting were,

“I’m really drunk.”

Later, you told me it was alright:

You could hear the music better from the medical tent.

 

Huge music fanatic

Metal, jazz, and classical

I’ll listen to pretty much anything once

 

You wrote a song for me in November.

Ok, maybe not for me, but about me.

It’s March and

According to iTunes, I’ve played it 86 times.

I would chug spoiled milk before telling you so.

 

Trying to save money to complete school

PhD student

University of Dalton Flyer

Dominican College Men’s Lacrosse

 

Would I be happy if I had gone to a different college?

I always liked the idea of Oberlin.

Those kinds of thoughts are pointless, you said,

Embarrassed of me.

 

I’m looking for friends

Not anything close to serious

Just want to have some fun

(Just fun)

 

In bed, you spat at me,

“I’m done with you.”

I stared at the grotesque pattern on your comforter,

BLACK-TAN-BLACK-TAN,

And felt myself melting into it.

I decided to sleep on the futon that night.

 

———————————————————————————

 

Ready to turn up

So hit me up

[If you think our looks are comparable]

Hit me up!

Hmu!!!

 

I’m going to set my preference on Tinder to “Women Only.”

Girls have softer hands, at least.

 

Send me nudes or this is pointless.

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